Me, Myself and Finding My Niche...

   So, I may not have the greatest blog in the world, the most followers, the most thought provoking posts. So, not many people comment or ask me questions on here. So, I may not be the prettiest, the thinnest or the smartest. Someone is always better at me in any of the fields and many more. Someone is always better than me. I just need to find my niche, that thing or things I love and want to do and am good at. I know I'm good at talking to people and making "friends" or at least engaging people in conversation. Sometimes I wonder if all of the friends I have are friends. Do they care that I moved away? I know some do, and I miss them terribly. 
   Speaking of not being the thinnest person in the world, I love food, and maybe that causes some weight issues. I've never have been or never will be a skinny mini, it's just not my body type. This summer I was probably in the best shape I've been in a long time. Part of that is due to the fact we saved up some money, and I got a personal trainer. I wanted to learn how to workout more and better for myself, but just didn't know how and frankly, was embarrassed that I didn't know how to use half the equipment in the gym. And man oh man did this help! I finally am comfortable going to the gym and can get a good workout in. I also took some yoga and pilates classes, which I love, and those helped as well. I still use some of those workouts I did with my trainer, but now, I also use some of Jillian Michael's workouts. Man can she kick your butt!
   When I was finally was reunited with Tyler in November (hadn't seen him in 8 months), man did I look and feel good! But, let me take you back to this past December/January when I started to get really anxious and depressed about Tyler being deployed. I didn't want to burden people with all my troubles, because even though family/friends would care, they wouldn't get it. Anyway, I started to gain lots of weight and not exercising as much, and finally, on the request of some friends, started to go to therapy. Therapy is also one of the best things ever, just so you're aware! But, these things are for another post. Well, after Tyler got back from being deployed, and had block leave, we went home for the holidays, and boy did I overindulge! I started to gain some weight back. Now, after struggling with my self again, I'm finally getting back in to shape. The point is, I've always had some body image issues, but am finally coming to terms with the fact if I just work out and eat smaller portions, I can look good :). Why sacrifice foods you love? Just try not to eat them as much and as big of a portion. Find a happy medium, because listen, there's NO WAY I'm giving up chocolate, bread, fries, etc. I just try not to have them as much, or if I do, I try to eat less than I used too. And as I said before, someone is always going to be prettier, thinner and more in shape than you, but who cares? You just need to be and love yourself.

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   I'm still looking for that thing I want to do/be. It's hard to deal with, because I see so many people struggling with the same thing or figuring it out. I wish someone could just come up to me, smack me and be like, "HEY YOU! You should do/be this!" and be done with it. Wouldn't that be nice? I enjoy traveling, wine, dogs, weddings, event planning (but mostly weddings haha), food, talking, writing/coming up with stories, entertainment, politics (secretly...gross I know), shopping, music, tv, movies, sometimes advertising/marketing...and well, just having fun. I think that about covers it. Now, what to do? Any ideas...I would love and am open to suggestions. I guess I just need to try more things for myself. Sigh. But again, suggestions/thoughts are welcome.
   For recent college grads (and for some beyond), there's the question of "so what are you going to do with you life?" I mean, you get that question your whole life, but after high school/college, well, that's when the pressure is on. What do you want to be when you "grow up?" What are you plans? Do any of us really know? Sure, I have some friends and my husband who have known what they've wanted to be for awhile, and some who have just recently figured it out, but for the rest of us this question is a difficult, especially in this economy with lack of jobs.
   But, I digress.Yes, people may have better blogs, more money, more friends, maybe they are prettier, are thinner/more fit than you, have a great career, etc. etc. The list can go on and on and on.  Maybe my weight struggles and how I am overcoming them can help someone. Maybe, hopefully someday soon, I will find my niche. But, until then, I leave you all with this...Love yourself, be yourself, trust yourself, have faith in yourself...