Time to Move On...

    So, I've been forgetting to mention something...Tyler and I are moving soon. No more Army for us, at least, for now anyway. Moving is always stressful, but this move, well, I really don't know how I feel about it. On the one hand, I'm super excited to go back to California and be with friends and Tyler's family, but on the other hand, I know I'm going to miss Germany and the new friends I made here. Plus, I don't even get to see my family or some friends I still have in Texas :(. I feel like there is still more I could do here in Germany, but alas, my time is coming to an end. I'm also scared, well, maybe nervous is more accurate, about finding a job and going back to work.
    Now, along with deciding what things I can live without for about 3 months (that's how long it can take for them to ship our stuff to us ahhh!), I'm looking for jobs, and an apartment. Looking for an apartment is fun, but sucks because I can't go look at any yet. I absolutely hate looking for jobs. There are so many I feel I could do/am qualified for, but according to the requirements, I supposedly am not qualified for the job, sigh. Anybody have any good sites I should look for jobs on? I am using a lot, but I am always open to suggestions.
    Speaking of job hunting, I always thought I was pretty good at interviews, but, 2 or 3 years ago, I was told after one interview I did for my school I wasn't. What?! No one else had ever told me that. And trust me, if I didn't get a job that I really wanted I inquired why and what I could do better next time. Ah well, maybe it was a fluke thing, or maybe I need to prepare more. I do know one thing I struggle with is what questions to ask. Anybody have any suggestions on questions to ask and/or interview tips for me?
     Anyway, I'm excited and yet very scared for this new chapter in our lives. But, ya know what? I bet it's going to be a good one. :)

Source: Uploaded by user via Beth on Pinterest

Being Strong

    What is the meaning of being strong and having strength? According to http://dictionary.reference.com, the definition of strong is...

"1. having, showing, or able to exert great bodily or muscular power; physically vigorous or robust: a strong boy.

2.accompanied or delivered by great physical, mechanical, etc., power or force: a strong handshake; With one strong blow the machine stamped out a fender.

3.mentally powerful or vigorous: He may be old, but his mind is still strong.

4.especially able, competent, or powerful in a specific field or respect: She's very strong in mathematics. He's weak at bat, but he's a strong fielder.

5.of great moral power, firmness, or courage: strong under temptation."

    People call me strong. Why? Well, I am apart from Tyler a lot. When he was my boyfriend (basic training, medic and jump school), my fiance (Germany), and as my husband (Germany, Afghanistan, and other random trainings). There was also that whole deployment to Afghanistan thing. I also flew from LA to Frankfurt by myself, then I took the train by myself to get here to see Tyler come back from deployment. Oh yeah, and when they come back from deployment there's the whole they could have PTSD, triggers, nightmares, etc. So, you have to be strong and help them with that.
    So, am I strong? Maybe. Sometimes I don't feel strong. I just do what needs to be done.What makes me strong? I think it's my faith and the love and support I get from my friends and family. When I started "this life," I didn't really know anyone else going through this (except Tyler's aunt, who had been through it in the past, and this random German girl that was married to one of Tyler's friends. That random German girl, is now one of my best friends :)). Now, I do, and it is one of the best outlets...we all understand each other and what we're going through. I just hope that I can help people even after Tyler is out of the Army. So, again, does this make me a strong person?

Source: pinterest.com via Kendra on Pinterest

    People say, well, you knew what you were getting in to, you knew you had to be this strong. What? How would I have known that? I knew people at the time IN the military or joining the military, but I didn't know many spouses to my knowledge, and I know many of my friends didn't either. Tyler's Aunt was an Army wife at one point, so she would give me some advice, but how much can you really prepare a person for something like this? You can't. Each person deals with things differently. People will also say, well, you chose this life. Ok, well, I knew Tyler before the Army, so I wasn't in it from the beginning. I did however choose "this life" in the sense that I chose to be with him and be his wife.
    So, here's what I think...if you can complain about your life/family/job...so can I. It pisses me off when people say, why are you complaining, you knew what you were getting in to, you chose this life? Well, you "knew" what you were getting in to when you chose that job you have. Now, am I telling you to stop complaining?
 
    I don't mean to be that military wife, but I needed to voice my opinion (for once). I may be strong, but I am human. To sum everything up for you...I may be strong, I may have "chosen" this life, but did I really know what I was getting myself into? How could I know? How can anyone really know what they're getting themselves in to?
   Sorry for such a downer post, but it needed to be said :). Be strong friends, you all are strong, even if you don't know it yet! As the picture says, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

Winter cleaning?

    With December right around the corner, it's time to do some winter (I guess late fall) cleaning! That and we're moving soon, so I need to organize things anyway. We're supposed to find out today when we leave and when they're coming to ship our stuff! AH! It's a happy and sad feeling really. I'm excited to go back and see friends and family, but I'm also sad because I'm made some good new friends here. I also feel like there is so much more I could do here. Sigh. Also, I'm scared to start working again. I mean, ok, I am excited, because let's face it, I'm going stir crazy and need something more to do. But, I'm also scared.
    This past Thursday (Thanksgiving), Tyler and I left for Madrid Spain. We got to travel around with his cousin Jenna who lives 30 minutes or so outside of Madrid. We had such a great time! I even got to hang out with a old college friend :). We got back to our apartment late Sunday night, well, actually it was more like early Saturday morning...about 1:20am. AH! At least we made it back safely and our flight was on time haha. No worries friends, pictures and blog post all about Madrid to come!

    As you may have noticed, my blog has been going through an update. What do you guys think? I'm LOVING it! It's all thanks to my dear friend Joelle over at Something Charming. Didn't she do a great job? :D Thanks Joelle!
   

Life, Love and Remembrance

Via

    Tyler came home Saturday!!! Yay! :) I made us a nice dinner of baked chicken, potatoes (which I boiled, then put in oil in a pan) and broccoli. It was delicious. Sunday, I made my first ever cheesecake from scratch. Wasn't half bad...meaning, it was lumpy but still tasted good. I took a look at a few different recipes and tried to make it my own. It was just your basic cheesecake (cream cheese, sugar, vanilla, eggs...crust with graham crackers and butter) with a sour cream topping. The topping consisted of sour cream, sugar and vanilla, and was really good!
    It's so great to FINALLY have Tyler back. I mean, I did deal with back pain (which is pretty much better), internet/phone problems (which is also solved as of Friday) and other things by myself, but I'm glad I don't have to do it alone anymore.
    Thursday, the in-laws will be here. Tyler and I are excited, but we would also like some more alone time before he has to go train again. Ah well. We have lots of exciting traveling ahead of us at least :).
    I guess I got to finish up my cleaning and stuff before they get here haha. Last night there was this really intense/cool storm, so there's all these leaves in the apartment. Also gotta fold laundry. ugh. I don't hate it, but sometimes it just takes so long.

 *****

    Before I go, I wanted to touch on 9/11. 10 years ago yesterday, I was in 8th grade...I was coming from band (we had band class before school started a couple days a week) to my classroom. I walk in the teacher and some of the kids that were already at school were fidgeting with the TV. I asked what was going on. "one of the World Traders was just hit by an airplane!" What??? What does that mean? I was so confused, and to top it off, I had no idea where the World Trade Centers were. Embarrassing? Probably. So, I ask and was told New York City. We FINALLY find a station that came in on the TV (not in Spanish haha) and start to watch. I remember sitting there, more people are coming in, but we're still all starring at the TV, trying to figure out what this means for us.

Via

I remember seeing the second plane hit the second tower live. I remember watching people jump from the towers, wanting to die from that fall rather than burning or being crushed. I remember watching both of the towers collapse live. I remember the Pentagon being hit live. I remember the other flight crashing in to the Pennsylvania field. I remember not really having class that morning. I remember finally "having" class in the afternoon, but not really because the TV was still on in the background and some kids were taken out of school by their parents. Once I went home, I learned that even certain buildings in Dallas were evacuated just as a precaution. I remember people scrambling to call their friends, family and loved ones in the New York area. I remember people also trying to get in touch with those they knew who worked at or near the Pentagon. I remember Peter Jennings trying to get in touch with his son and crying on air. I remember this day, and will never forget it.
    This morning, Tyler and I were watching CNN International before he went to work. There was a segment about people in Afghanistan not knowing about 9/11. Everyone seemed so shocked, but if you think about it, why would they know? How would they know? They live in a world that's basically in a different time. What was shocking to me however, was the fact that interpreters for the US military forces and the Afghan Army did not know what 9/11 was . I feel like that would be an important thing to tell the people who are helping you. What also shocked me was this, why has it taken 10 years for this to be a thing? Why has no one tried to explain this to them before? Maybe some have and we just don't know about it.
    This was a terrible day for America that will clearly never be forgotten. I hope those who were directly affected have found some peace, and know that their loved ones did not die in vain (military included in this)...their lives/service will never be forgotten. 

   

   It's almost been a week since I last blogged...WHAT?! Crazy. I never really meant to do that, it's just, well, I haven't been feeling inspired to write. I guess I get intimidated or embarrassed about some ideas I have. Or, I think I have a great idea then 5 other people blog about it, and they have 50 billion (subscribed) readers. Le sigh. OR they have a better idea then me, and I'm like, well, why didn't I think to write about that! haha. Oh me. I am trying to work on not being so self conscious about things, like for example, my blog, but sometimes it just happens. Working on it though.
   So, Saturday I was going to drive two hours or so to pick up Tyler from his training and see him "graduate," but low and behold, he came home last night! It was a nice and welcome surprise! :)
   Well, I know this was a short post, but I will be more creative tomorrow...I already have some things I'm working on :). Happy Thursday.

On My Own

"Pretending he's beside me. All alone, I walk with him till morning. Without him, I feel his arms around me...And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me." - On My Own, Les Miserables

Well, Tyler's gone, so I have the house to myself for a bit. It's a happy/sad. Happy because I'll have the car to myself and get the apartment all clean with no interference. Sad because, well, he's gone and I don't get to see/be with him for awhile. :( Time for some movies and girl time! Oh yeah, I also have to get the spare room ready for when my parents come in a few weeks :)

Thursday Tyler took me out to dinner at our favorite little Italian place. It was a nice change since we don't eat out all that much. Friday Tyler left (sad day). Then today, I went to a Flea Market in the morning with a neighbor. Unfortunately, I didn't find anything :( . Ah well. Now I'm watching another neighbor's precious little Yorkie, Radley, while they're on a vacay. He's so cute! I'll be sure to put up some pics soon.  How's everyone else's weekend thus far?

Happy Days :)

   Ok, it's been awhile, and I apologize for this, but there has been A LOT going on. Thursday was Tyler's and my 2 year anniversary, so we spent it where we got married, at Angel's stadium in Anaheim, CA, watching the Angels kick some Mariner ass, haha.

   Friday I picked a friend up from the airport, picked up my wedding dress and got ready for the "wedding" on Sunday. Saturday we had a rehearsal in the morning (because there was a wedding at the location that night), and then had a lovely brunch at a local country club.

Some of the people at the Rehearsal Brunch. Look at all the rainbow colors! hehe

   This past Sunday, I got to re-marry the man of my dreams, my hubby, Tyler, in Our Celebration of Marriage. It was so much fun! Everyone looked great, it went basically without a hitch, the food was amazing, the pie was delicious and everyone looked like they had a good time. We also lucked out and got some furniture for free! The company who rented the furniture to the couple who had a wedding there the night before,  forgot to come and pick it up, so I could use it. Win. At this beautiful outdoor location, not only did we have lots of food a drink (lots of wine of course), we had a great DJ and lawn games. Yup, you heard me right, we had lawn games...croquet, horse shoes and corn hole (aka bean bag toss). I didn't tell many people about this (just family), because I wanted to be a surprise, even for the wedding party. People loved them! If you have an outdoor location with some space, some games might just be the thing you're looking for.I finally got the day I had dreamed about for so long. I got to walk down the aisle, have dances, wear a gown etc. It was one of the happiest days of my life. :)
   Anyway, here are some pictures via friends and family from that day. Professional pics should be available in like 2 weeks! Enjoy. :)

Wedding Party

Here I come! hehe

Kiss

Apparently something was funny in the ceremony haha.

Father/Daughter Dance

Parents :)

First Dance. :)

   I felt good in my dress until I saw a few pics of how unforgiving my it was. I couldn't wear spanx, etc. because you could see the lines, yes, even the ones that were seamless. Maybe I just should've worn them anyway. I thought that I looked pretty good, but some pics I feel I look like a fat cow or pregnant. I'm not either, though it would be interesting to find out what people think of me, like, do people consider me to be a "bigger" person? I know everyone said I looked gorgeous, beautiful, etc., but I just wonder, ya know? No, I am not fishing for compliments here...ha; I'm just a HORRIBLE critic of myself. Who isn't though? Well, I'm one of the worst I know. Le sigh. Ah well. I did get angry that all my working out and eating better apparently didn't pay off. Ok, ok. I guess it did, because I learned to enjoy working out. Sorry to vent, I know I did look beautiful, and I did love that dress. :)
   Saturday night, my throat started to hurt, but on Sunday, I was able to ignore it for the most part until we got to the hotel Sunday night. Oh man. My nose started acting CRAZY. Ugh. Of course. Worst part is, I still have it! I think it started as an allergy thing, but now is more of a cold. Ugh. So, it's Wednesday night, and I think I'm still jet-lagged. Also this cold thing doesn't help with the energy level.

Emotions...

My emotions are currently all over the place. I leave for Germany Monday, and I'm so unbelievably excited! Yet, there is a part of me that is nervous and a bit anxious. Once I land in Frankfort, I have to go on the train for two hours by myself with all my luggage. Oh, I also have to switch trains in the middle. GAH! I know I can do it, but it makes me nervous. Once I land, I just want to get there. Sigh. It's ok...I can do this! I will get to be with my husband soon and that is all that matters. Well, that, and I'll get to travel a whole bunch! Yesssss! Stoked.
    The other thing that kind of gets me is that for the first time Tyler and I will actually live together as husband and wife. Imagine that. I am overjoyed but this, but at the same time, I know it will take some getting used to. We will be in a honey phase for awhile at least hehe. It will take some time to get reacquainted with each other, but I am sure we will be fine and will have no problems doing so.
    Other than that, I will miss my friends (and family). They have been so supportive of me throughout this process. Sure there have been things here and there, but no matter what, they have been there for me...I don't know if they know how much I truly appreciate that. I hope and pray that we can remain close even through this separation period. I mean, hell, if Tyler and I can do it...pssh, everyone else is a piece of cake!
   Thus, I digress...I have lots of emotion running through me right now, but overall, I'm so excited! Can't wait to get to Germany and tell everyone all about it. :)