Being Strong

    What is the meaning of being strong and having strength? According to http://dictionary.reference.com, the definition of strong is...

"1. having, showing, or able to exert great bodily or muscular power; physically vigorous or robust: a strong boy.

2.accompanied or delivered by great physical, mechanical, etc., power or force: a strong handshake; With one strong blow the machine stamped out a fender.

3.mentally powerful or vigorous: He may be old, but his mind is still strong.

4.especially able, competent, or powerful in a specific field or respect: She's very strong in mathematics. He's weak at bat, but he's a strong fielder.

5.of great moral power, firmness, or courage: strong under temptation."

    People call me strong. Why? Well, I am apart from Tyler a lot. When he was my boyfriend (basic training, medic and jump school), my fiance (Germany), and as my husband (Germany, Afghanistan, and other random trainings). There was also that whole deployment to Afghanistan thing. I also flew from LA to Frankfurt by myself, then I took the train by myself to get here to see Tyler come back from deployment. Oh yeah, and when they come back from deployment there's the whole they could have PTSD, triggers, nightmares, etc. So, you have to be strong and help them with that.
    So, am I strong? Maybe. Sometimes I don't feel strong. I just do what needs to be done.What makes me strong? I think it's my faith and the love and support I get from my friends and family. When I started "this life," I didn't really know anyone else going through this (except Tyler's aunt, who had been through it in the past, and this random German girl that was married to one of Tyler's friends. That random German girl, is now one of my best friends :)). Now, I do, and it is one of the best outlets...we all understand each other and what we're going through. I just hope that I can help people even after Tyler is out of the Army. So, again, does this make me a strong person?

Source: pinterest.com via Kendra on Pinterest

    People say, well, you knew what you were getting in to, you knew you had to be this strong. What? How would I have known that? I knew people at the time IN the military or joining the military, but I didn't know many spouses to my knowledge, and I know many of my friends didn't either. Tyler's Aunt was an Army wife at one point, so she would give me some advice, but how much can you really prepare a person for something like this? You can't. Each person deals with things differently. People will also say, well, you chose this life. Ok, well, I knew Tyler before the Army, so I wasn't in it from the beginning. I did however choose "this life" in the sense that I chose to be with him and be his wife.
    So, here's what I think...if you can complain about your life/family/job...so can I. It pisses me off when people say, why are you complaining, you knew what you were getting in to, you chose this life? Well, you "knew" what you were getting in to when you chose that job you have. Now, am I telling you to stop complaining?
 
    I don't mean to be that military wife, but I needed to voice my opinion (for once). I may be strong, but I am human. To sum everything up for you...I may be strong, I may have "chosen" this life, but did I really know what I was getting myself into? How could I know? How can anyone really know what they're getting themselves in to?
   Sorry for such a downer post, but it needed to be said :). Be strong friends, you all are strong, even if you don't know it yet! As the picture says, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

YAY!

Tyler's home. :) FINALLY! I'll do Wedding Wednesday another day. hehe.

A Weekend Review

"Pink it´s my new obsession
Pink it´s not even a question
Pink on the lips of your lover, ´cause
Pink is the love you discover ..."
- Aerosmith from the song Pink

{via}

Speaking of Pink, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. As if you didn't know...haha. Saturday morning, I did a 5k Breast Cancer Fun Run on post with some of my friends/neighbors. I'm so glad that I did it. Sure I walked the whole way, but it was still fun to do...and it supports a great cause. Not to get too sentimental or anything, but my mom had breast cancer, so this hits close to home. No worries, she is fine now (after chemo, radiation, a bilateral mastectomy, reconstructive sugary... ya know).

{via}

Now, let's head back to Friday. Friday night, I attended a Pure Romance Party. Now, I have been to Passion parties before, but not Pure Romance. Don't get me wrong, they're the same thing...just different companies. It was so much fun! Also, Army wives are crazy! haha ;p. But if you think about it, we're left alone all the time for trainings, deployments, etc. I think you'd be a little crazy too, if ya know what I mean. There was lots of food, drinks, talking (it's all girls of course there's talking hahaha), I drank half a bottle of wine (whoops)...all in all a very fun time...the perfect girls night in fact. And don't you worry, I was fine the next morning to the Breast Cancer Fun Run. :p

Sunday, I took it easy. I watched some TV/movies, I folded laundry, cleaned a little and took two walks. One was just me and the iPod...always nice, and the other, I drove to a friend's house, who lives about 8 minutes or so away and we walked with her neighbor who is trying to learn English. It was very interesting. There are so many pretty places to walk around here; I'm really going to miss that. 

Today, Monday, I've been kind of lazy. I did go downtown with a neighbor and her daughter to help her find clothes, now I need to work on getting stuff done for the girl scout event this weekend. AH! Can't believe the Masquerade Ball is almost here!

How was everyone else's weekend?
Are you doing anything this month for breast cancer awareness?
Have you ever been to a passion or pure romance party?

Happy Monday Friends :)

Life, Love and Remembrance

Via

    Tyler came home Saturday!!! Yay! :) I made us a nice dinner of baked chicken, potatoes (which I boiled, then put in oil in a pan) and broccoli. It was delicious. Sunday, I made my first ever cheesecake from scratch. Wasn't half bad...meaning, it was lumpy but still tasted good. I took a look at a few different recipes and tried to make it my own. It was just your basic cheesecake (cream cheese, sugar, vanilla, eggs...crust with graham crackers and butter) with a sour cream topping. The topping consisted of sour cream, sugar and vanilla, and was really good!
    It's so great to FINALLY have Tyler back. I mean, I did deal with back pain (which is pretty much better), internet/phone problems (which is also solved as of Friday) and other things by myself, but I'm glad I don't have to do it alone anymore.
    Thursday, the in-laws will be here. Tyler and I are excited, but we would also like some more alone time before he has to go train again. Ah well. We have lots of exciting traveling ahead of us at least :).
    I guess I got to finish up my cleaning and stuff before they get here haha. Last night there was this really intense/cool storm, so there's all these leaves in the apartment. Also gotta fold laundry. ugh. I don't hate it, but sometimes it just takes so long.

 *****

    Before I go, I wanted to touch on 9/11. 10 years ago yesterday, I was in 8th grade...I was coming from band (we had band class before school started a couple days a week) to my classroom. I walk in the teacher and some of the kids that were already at school were fidgeting with the TV. I asked what was going on. "one of the World Traders was just hit by an airplane!" What??? What does that mean? I was so confused, and to top it off, I had no idea where the World Trade Centers were. Embarrassing? Probably. So, I ask and was told New York City. We FINALLY find a station that came in on the TV (not in Spanish haha) and start to watch. I remember sitting there, more people are coming in, but we're still all starring at the TV, trying to figure out what this means for us.

Via

I remember seeing the second plane hit the second tower live. I remember watching people jump from the towers, wanting to die from that fall rather than burning or being crushed. I remember watching both of the towers collapse live. I remember the Pentagon being hit live. I remember the other flight crashing in to the Pennsylvania field. I remember not really having class that morning. I remember finally "having" class in the afternoon, but not really because the TV was still on in the background and some kids were taken out of school by their parents. Once I went home, I learned that even certain buildings in Dallas were evacuated just as a precaution. I remember people scrambling to call their friends, family and loved ones in the New York area. I remember people also trying to get in touch with those they knew who worked at or near the Pentagon. I remember Peter Jennings trying to get in touch with his son and crying on air. I remember this day, and will never forget it.
    This morning, Tyler and I were watching CNN International before he went to work. There was a segment about people in Afghanistan not knowing about 9/11. Everyone seemed so shocked, but if you think about it, why would they know? How would they know? They live in a world that's basically in a different time. What was shocking to me however, was the fact that interpreters for the US military forces and the Afghan Army did not know what 9/11 was . I feel like that would be an important thing to tell the people who are helping you. What also shocked me was this, why has it taken 10 years for this to be a thing? Why has no one tried to explain this to them before? Maybe some have and we just don't know about it.
    This was a terrible day for America that will clearly never be forgotten. I hope those who were directly affected have found some peace, and know that their loved ones did not die in vain (military included in this)...their lives/service will never be forgotten. 

   

On My Own

"Pretending he's beside me. All alone, I walk with him till morning. Without him, I feel his arms around me...And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me." - On My Own, Les Miserables

Well, Tyler's gone, so I have the house to myself for a bit. It's a happy/sad. Happy because I'll have the car to myself and get the apartment all clean with no interference. Sad because, well, he's gone and I don't get to see/be with him for awhile. :( Time for some movies and girl time! Oh yeah, I also have to get the spare room ready for when my parents come in a few weeks :)

Thursday Tyler took me out to dinner at our favorite little Italian place. It was a nice change since we don't eat out all that much. Friday Tyler left (sad day). Then today, I went to a Flea Market in the morning with a neighbor. Unfortunately, I didn't find anything :( . Ah well. Now I'm watching another neighbor's precious little Yorkie, Radley, while they're on a vacay. He's so cute! I'll be sure to put up some pics soon.  How's everyone else's weekend thus far?

Friday, Friday...Gotta Get Down on Friday....

And now you all have the Rebbecca Black song stuck in your head like I do almost every Friday since that horrid fun song came out. Muwhahaha. If you don't know what I'm talking, well where have you been these past couple months?! Unfortunately, her record company has removed all of the videos from youtube, so you will just have to do a search yourself :).

Anyway! Wednesday, Tyler comes home from work and says, "I have to jump tomorrow. Ugh." (For those of you who don't know what that means, he's airborne, so he has to jump out of airplanes every now and then to keep in practice.)
Me: "Oh really? What time do you have to be there?"
Tyler: "12:30."
Me: "wait...as in AM??"
Tyler: "Yup."
Me: "WHAT?! Go take a nap!"
Tyler: "I don't think I can. And besides, that may make it worse."
Ugh! So early! So, we stayed up, had a late dinner and watched TV. I did not go to bed until he left because I thought it would be too mean if I went to bed haha. He had to get there so early because they were having a morning jump, but did that happen of course not. He didn't jump until like 4:30 that evening. Then, he didn't get home until 11:30/12 that night. He looked wrecked. It was bad. But, good news, he got some sleep while he was there, and didn't have to be in to work until 1 today :).

Yesterday was kind of a girls day/night. I went to the lake with 3 of my lovely neighbors (plus one baby and puppy) and just walked around, chatted and ate at the cafe there. After going home to relax and clean, that evening, we went to base to have dinner and drinks. Two other girls joined for this round. :) Then, we went back to our apaartment and had some more drinks/conversation until the guys got back from jumping. It was a really fun night with the girls! It was a nice change in pace too; we're definitely going to need to do this more often. *note to self...I need to take more pictures of these events!*

"Yesterday was Thursday (Thursday), to-to-day is Friday (Friday). We we we so excited...we so excited..." Ok, that's enough.
But yes, it is Friday. I got some recycling done, planning dinner, got a good workout in this morning...who knows what tonight and this weekend may bring! Happy Friday everyone :)

Celebration of our Marriage

   This summer, Tyler and I are renewing our vows and celebrating our marriage. We will be doing this Sunday, July 10, 2011, 2 years and 3 days from the first time we got married July 7, 2009. Now, we could've waited for our 5 year anniversary, 10 year anniversary, etc. but at this time in our life, we decided to do it now.
   Around April/May 2009, Tyler and I decided to get married in early July he was set to deploy to Afghanistan and that was when he would be home on leave before the deployment. We just wanted to get married in the courthouse and have a picnic with those who could be there after because there wasn't much time to plan anything bigger, and most locations were already booked for the time he would be home in the summer. Then, Tyler's parents suggested doing it at Angel's Stadium since they were going to an Angels game anyway. A couple days before the big day, one of my best friends decided to throw me a bachelorette party with lingerie given as gifts. I loved it! It was so much fun...we had appetizers, dinner, LOTS of drinks, some fun games, followed by a slumber party :).
   On Tuesday, July 7, 2009 at 6:05 in the evening, we were married (by my Uncle who is a pastor in the San Diego area) in a suite at Angel's Stadium in Anaheim, CA.

After the brief words and exchanging of vows, we met some of the Angels staff, including Rex Hudler and the communications director. Then we had delicious Angel's style BBQ, watched the Texas Rangers beat the Angels and had some good cake.

   The next day, we went to Disneyland with some of my family. On the 9th, Tyler and I drove up to San Francisco for a few days there, followed by a trip to Ukiah, CA, to see Tyler's great uncle and aunt who have a vineyard there

    When we were married, we were only together a short while, then he had to come back to Germany and I went back to my internship and back to school. Right before he was deployed in November, he got to come back home for a few weeks. Some marriage, huh? Then I didn't see him again till March, again, only for about 2 weeks. Then, I didn't see him again till November when he was back from being deployed. In our first year of marriage, I saw him maybe 2 months, if that. For the first year and a half I think it totals to about to about 4 months.
   Now, why do we want to renew our vows, and why do we want to do it so soon? It's not that we've forgotten the vows we made to each other on that day in a suite in Angel's stadium, it's just, well, we've been apart for so long, and we want to recommit to each other in front of God, friends and family. We also want to celebrate our marriage with all of those friends and family. When we were married, there were only a  few family members and friends in the suite with us. I, I guess selfishly, want to have the wedding celebration you dream about with all of our friends and family (those who can make it out anyway).  In our "first" wedding, there was no real walk down the aisle, no first dance, no father daughter dance (no dancing at all actually...silly baseball game), no garter or bouquet toss...there were some toasts and a cake cutting at least. I didn't even wear a wedding dress, I wore a white cocktail dress from Target, which is cute, but not what you think of. I want to wear a real wedding dress, have a first dance, a father daughter dance...
   Later, in August 2010, my sister did throw me a bridal shower, in my home town of Dallas, since I never had one. It was so cute! I loved it.
   Am I being selfish in wanting another wedding? Maybe. But so many people are renewing their vows or having "another" wedding with the same person, I figure, why can't I? Many people in the military do this as well. So again, why can't I?
  According to theknot.com article about Wedding Vow Renewal: How to Retie the Knot, they answer the question why renew? Their answer, "To celebrate. Perhaps you've made it to 10, 25, or 50 years together and you want the world to know that you'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. Maybe you want to reaffirm your commitment to each other after a rough period in your relationship. There's no wrong reason to renew." Exactly why we want to do it...to reaffirm our commitment to each other and to celebrate with friends and family! :)

   I have gotten some crap for wanting "another wedding" and have been called selfish. Some have said it's not fair, why should I get two weddings? What's not fair is that for the first year of our marriage he was in Afghanistan for basically all of it. What's not fair is that some people didn't acknowledge or remember I was married because he was never around, I still lived in a dorm room and they didn't see us get married, what's not fair is that people stopped inviting me out because, "oh...I didn't know you still wanted to go out being a married woman and all." What does that even mean?
   Most of those close to us have been supportive of our decision to have this "celebration of marriage" and are really excited about it! It's a time to have fun and finally celebrate our lives TOGETHER with friends and family. Having the wedding I've always wanted doesn't hurt either. Well, I can't say always wanted, because I did want to get married by a castle or something like it (hahaha...not kidding unfortunately). If I had millions of dollars to spare? ha.
  All in all, I'm really excited about this upcoming event! And I can't wait to spend this special day with friends and family close to us :) 

Here's some info about our upcoming Celebration of Marriage...
Location: Walnut Grove
Website: http://www.mywedding.com/tylerandbethberryswedding
Food: California BBQ
Dessert: Pie :) 
My dress: Can't share that yet. Tyler may stumble upon it, and he's the one who doesn't want to see or know anything about the dress until the evening of July 10th. Cute, huh?
Tyler's outift: He'll be wearing his Army Dress Blues
Bridesmaid Dresses: In the color of midnight
Groomsmen: Will be wearing tuxes from Friar Tux.

Day 14: Can't live a day without you...

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Yes it's my wonderful husband, Tyler. I know, I know. I've been posting about him sooo much. Sigh. But it's true, I can't imagine my life without him. 

Day 5: Favorite Memory

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

   I  have many memories that I enjoy, heck, you may even call them favorites...but here is my favorite memory thus far...

The day Tyler and I got married...July 7, 2009. :)

SNAPS Class: Day 4

   On Thursday, we learned how to take the bus and went from base to downtown. We walked around the city and got a quick tour of everything important and were realized to go explore for ourselves. It was a really fun time to hang out with some girls, chat, eat, shop...you know. A group of us ended up going to the mall and of that group 4 of us had the most amazing sushi! It was set up in the traditional conveyor belt style and had two levels! It's almost like the image below, but it was covered in glass and had two levels. The staff there was so nice and helpful as well!

via site

   After our delicious sushi, we walked around the mall some more, then left and made our way to H&M. I of course had to buy some leggins and a new sweater. How can you not get anything there? haha. To end our trip we went to the backery to get some treats and bread. mmmm. What a great way to end the day huh? After that, we headed back to base where I hung out with my new friend Gabby until Tyler got off work.
   Now, here's the funny thing about that. Gabby and I hung out at her place for awhile, then headed over to the library to get some books. After that, she had to leave to meet some people and I went to the computers there where I saw another girl from our class, Aimee. Turns out she lived close to me and could pick me up the next day to go to the train station! Success! Usually Tyler would come home to drive me, but getting me soemwhere by 8:30, was going to be impossible for him. Aimee then left and I was still waiting for Tyler. His meeting was at 5, but it was now pushing 5:40...where was he? Then I got a call from him. He had already gone home and realized I had not come back via taxi. Oops. Yup, that's right, he forgot me. I even sent him a reminder text! Fail Tyler. Once he came to get me we splurged and got some Pizza and girl scout cookies. :)
Thus, I digress...it was all and all a good day :)

SNAPS Class: Days 2 and 3

   Yesterday, Tuesday, was a really fun day! We took a bus tour of the perimeter of the city to see where the hospitals were, the wild animal park, the water park, etc. Then, we got to go shopping. We went to some of the coolest home stores! Plus side, they were fairly cheep! I'm definitely going to have to take Tyler back to some of them. Most of the group at the restaurant in the first store, XXXL, and you know what? I had to order and help people figure out things, because I'm the one who knows the most German besides our leader. It was kind of cool. :) I felt like my minimal German was finally paying off. After all of that wlking around and shopping we went back to base. I hung out with a girl I met in the class until Tyler got off work and could take me home.
   Today, we were in the classroom again. We learned about the intense recycling you must do here, mail services, Family Advocacy Program, Family Readiness Groups and Deployment Readiness, Women Infant and Children Group, EDIS (Educational Developmental Intervention Services), Community Spouses club, Resiliency Training and ACS resources . It was all very informative, but I must admit, at times I did get bored. Ah well. Such is life. I did learn a lot today.
   There is such a different variety of women and one man, from all parts of the U.S. and all different ages. The oldest in the group said the other day that she has grand kids, but she doesn't look a day over 37. I guess you age well in the south. The youngest is almost 19, and very mature for her age. And no, she didn't get married because she was pregnant. I really enjoy these people and hope to become friends with at least some of them.
   Thus, I digress and will leave you to enjoy your day. More tomorrow! :) 

SNAPS Class: Day 1

   So I started out last night not wanting to go to SNAPS (----------- Newcomer Awareness Program for Spouses) class. Why? I have no idea. There was no real logical explanation, I just didn't want to go. I guess to some degree I was nervous, but I don't know...for some reason I just didn't want to go. I just knew I had to though. And sure enough, I had a pretty good time. When Tyler picked me up at one I couldn't shut up about it. 
   We learned about anti-terrorism, volunteering and employment on base, the chapel and what it has to offer, the Garrison Colonel came, and much more. More importantly I met some pretty cool women and one guy. Yup, he's the only guy in the class! Good for him! :) I learned a lot today, even if some was boring, I did learn a lot. And you know what? I'm glad I went. This is shaping up to be a great week.
   Thus, I digress. Happy Monday everyone! :)

P.S. We're almost done building all our IKEA furniture! woot!

How I Met Your Mother and Real Life

   One of my favorite TV shows How I Met Your Mother. Tyler is really the one who turned me on to this show, it's his favorite currently airing show. Anyway, I've only really be religious about watching all of this past season, season 6. Other then that, I just catch How I Met Your Mother on re-runs. I recently decided since Tyler has all the seasons, why not start from the beginning. I realize as I'm watching them that I haven't really seen a lot from season one. Then I remember something. WARNING! SPOILER ALERT! I remember an episode where Lili and Marshall aren't together and she has to move in with Barney. But, in season one they get engaged and are planning their wedding, how can this be? They're like the Corey and Topanga of this show! They've been together 9 years and are finally getting married. Well, Lili wants to see if she's any good at her art so applies for an art fellowship in San Francisco. Her and Marshall fight and she breaks it off and leaves for San Fran. I bawled.
   Now, you may be asking yourself, why I am telling you about How I Met Your Mother? Well, here's the thing. Lili had been freaking out about getting married. She was saying stuff about how she hadn't done all the things she's wanted to do yet, how she's only ever really been with Marshall, should she date other people, etc. etc. I myself remember freaking out about similar things before tying the knot, but my conclusion was different then Lili's was at first. I realized that, why would I give up the love of my life for chance? Maybe isn't a choice. Sure I would love to grow and find myself, but why can't I do that with Tyler? Why can't I do any of these things with Tyler. I love him. And that's all I needed. Don't worry, Lili and Marshall get back together and she realizes he's the only thing she really wants and wants to do things with him alone, blah blah.
   Freaking out before you get married I feel is completely normal. It is a HUGE commitment. Things don't magically become perfect or better just because you get married...things take work, love, trust, hope, faith, commitment, etc.
   Part of the reason I may have freaked out even more was because I was so young. Yes, I will be one of the first to admit it. We were both 21, he was off to A-stan and I was entering my senior year of college. When I look back, I do not regret getting married that young, heck, I married the love of my life, why should I? Sure we spent a year apart, which sucked if you wondered, but I still don't regret it. Some may say that I was married to young, I should  have waited, I should've have moved to Germany, but I don't think any of those things are true. Yes, I could've have waited, and while I agree I was young, I don't think it was a mistake. I also don't think moving to Germany was a mistake either. I JUST graduated college May 2010, many people travel and take breaks after they graduate. What do you think I'm doing? I'm living abroad and traveling. Bonus is that I get to do it all with my wonderful husband, Tyler. When else am I going to have to awesome opportunity to live in another country and travel all over Europe? Sometimes I think, man, what would life be like if I would have stayed in California...what job would I have? But then I think, who cares? I'm with Tyler, in Europe! Awesome. I can worry about a career later. I mean, I don't honestly even know what I want to be or do.
   Thus, I digress. People, including myself freak out and worry to much. It is natural to do, especially before big moments in your life. I'm trying to not do it as much, but it's hard. Just a work in progress, much like life. haha.
   I hope everyone has a great day! :)

Emotions...

My emotions are currently all over the place. I leave for Germany Monday, and I'm so unbelievably excited! Yet, there is a part of me that is nervous and a bit anxious. Once I land in Frankfort, I have to go on the train for two hours by myself with all my luggage. Oh, I also have to switch trains in the middle. GAH! I know I can do it, but it makes me nervous. Once I land, I just want to get there. Sigh. It's ok...I can do this! I will get to be with my husband soon and that is all that matters. Well, that, and I'll get to travel a whole bunch! Yesssss! Stoked.
    The other thing that kind of gets me is that for the first time Tyler and I will actually live together as husband and wife. Imagine that. I am overjoyed but this, but at the same time, I know it will take some getting used to. We will be in a honey phase for awhile at least hehe. It will take some time to get reacquainted with each other, but I am sure we will be fine and will have no problems doing so.
    Other than that, I will miss my friends (and family). They have been so supportive of me throughout this process. Sure there have been things here and there, but no matter what, they have been there for me...I don't know if they know how much I truly appreciate that. I hope and pray that we can remain close even through this separation period. I mean, hell, if Tyler and I can do it...pssh, everyone else is a piece of cake!
   Thus, I digress...I have lots of emotion running through me right now, but overall, I'm so excited! Can't wait to get to Germany and tell everyone all about it. :)